Boss Up! by learning to be more selfish.
For a majority of my life, I was the definition of selfless. I was always doing for others with the expectation of nothing in return. Need a ride? Call Tiff. Need money? Call Tiff. Your boyfriend breaks up with you at 2 AM in a drunken fit? Call Tiff for advice.
You can check out my full story here, but it was something ingrained since birth. The women in my family always gave their last. The world smiled upon them and they would often hear phrases like “God is going to bless you”, but I saw the other side of God’s blessing. It was continues hurt, anxiety, and strain that a lack of appreciation does on mental health.
On December 31st 2016, I made my first selfish move. We will talk about that later, but it opened me up to the beauty of being selfish. On my journey, I learned a few things that I want to share with all the selfless women in my life.
Understand that is okay to be selfish: I was taught as a kid that God loves a giving heart, but we take that sentiment a little too far. We must learn that life is about GIVE and TAKE. It is totally okay to take time to love and appreciate YOU! When we allow ourselves to replenish, we place ourselves in a better position. I want you to say this mantra 3x.
“I am valuable to the people in my life. I am giving to myself so that I can better give to others in the future.”
Set Expectations: My first problem? I had high expectations for myself, but none for those around me. I gave without expecting anything back, but what I didn't now realize is that people in your life who love you and care about you will see how much you give and will step in to help, simply because the love you. There will be no need to ask or beg, They will see your selfless nature and want to pour into you.
Weigh Your Options: So, take a pen and write this down, because I want you to remember this right here. YOU ALWAYS HAVE OPTIONS. Before you commit to any situation, weigh YOUR options and make the best decision for you and your dependents. I did a lot of things in relationships and friendships that didn't suit me. I let others make decisions in my life for me. Everything was divine in the end, but next time I am avoiding all.
Anywho with all that said, go be a selfish boo!